Inane
by Tangerine Goddess
Summary: Sho talks about Self-Shipping mpreg, causing Juudai and Haou to fight, prompting a certain half-human, half-dragon to have her fun... MPREG BASHING. And the bashing of Juudai's hair? Oneshot. Crackfiction. Rated T because... Juudai's hair defies gravity?


**Inane**

**:Busy reading _The Looking Glass Wars_**:

**Muse: :Smacks: Hey! There are people here!**

**:Falls out of chair and lands on own ass: Ouch! I'm okay! :Realizes: Oh, hi peeps! It's been forever and a year since I updated, so here I am! Yes, another mpreg bashing fiction for yours truly. This time it's Self-Shipping, as it cannot happen. Personally, I honestly do not mind Self-Shipping... if it doesn't involve Haou randomly getting his own body of course. Give reason for such events, unless you are writing a parody, then I really do not care. **

**Muse: :Steals book: Hatter owns all! **

**Give that back! Anyway, hope you enjoy the fiction. Tangerine Goddess doesn't own Yu-Gi-Oh GX. :Tackles Muse:**

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"Aniki!" Juudai kept right on walking, ignoring his shorter best friend, after all, he was the main character now, and Sho wasn't anymore, so clearly, there was no reason for him to speak to the small boy, even if Sho was the only one who was genuinely concerned about Juudai's well-being. This reaction, naturally made the smaller male more determined to get his point across.

"Aniki!" At this, Juudai finally turned around. Hey, a person could only take a Mickey-mouse sounding voice for so long until they snap!

"Sho, you've been saying 'Aniki' for the past ten minutes, what is it?" The brunette's harsh tone hurt Sho just a little bit, although it wasn't nearly as mentally scarring, as what he was about to tell him.

"I've been reading fanfiction again." Juudai sighed. "Didn't we tell you not to look at that crap? Espeically after the 'Self-Shipping' episode stuff?" Juudai gave an involuntary shudder. That particular event caused Haou to stop talking to Juudai, and for him to stop helping Juudai whenever someone wouldn't get off of his back. Just because he managed to get along with his 'other self' did not mean that he wanted to get into his pants and vice versa. Or was it considered wanting to get into his own pants? Nor did it mean that Juudai wanted Haou's babies, considering that Juudai couldn't have children to begin with, as he was a man, and considering that it would be techincally impossible because of the whole ' being the same person' thing.

And if he did, wouldn't not be considered a pairing, as it was more like masterbation? Juudai had to stop for a minute to erase that thought from his head. It wouldn't do good to piss off his 'Yami' more then he already was.

"But, it's addicting. This one was really weird though, it was another mpreg fic." Juudai shuddered once more. When would people realize that no matter how 'cute' they thought it was, mpreg could NOT happen. The laws of biology still applied to Juudai's world, even if the laws of physics didn't, at least they did the last time he checked.

"I know I will regret this, but what pairing?" Juudai cringed when he heard the words slip from his mouth, but it was too late to stop them. Sho gulped. Here was the tricky part.

"Self-Shipping," Juudai knew he was going to regret it. He could already feel the beginings of another one of Haou's rants. He banged his head on the side of the Osiris dorm, attempting to dislodge the foul language that was being spat from the throat of his 'other self'.

_What makes people think that I am gay?! Hasn't it ever occured to anyone that I am asexual?!(1) And how am I even talking to you!_

_'Don't ask me,'_ Juudai responded bitterly, as the smackings did nothing to get rid to Haou's voice. _'This bitch of an authoress is the one who wrote this damn thing!' (2)_

_I am still blaming you. _Juudai gave Haou the lovely mental image of him gifting the King of Darkness with the finger. He had the strangest sensation, that the King was grinning like the asshole he was. (3)

_Why did you have to look like a bishounen in the first place?_ Joy. The King of Darkness is whining. If only his subjects could see him now. Juudai felt another sensation, this one of someone giving him a death glare, and not a cute one too, but a glare that said 'Thou shalt die slow and painfully by being impaled and then hung from the rafters in the Osiris dorm'. Juudai couldn't help but bring on the sarcasm.

_'Let's see, that could be because this was how the artist drew me as, and that I had no control over it! How is it my fault that a bunch of fangirls can't seem to get it through their heads that I'm not gay, and that the laws of biology do apply?'_

_Because our hair sticks up at odd angles, thus ruining the laws of physics, even though you practically marainate yourself in hair gel, which clearly explains everything. And I didn't say it was your fault. I just said I was blaming you. And if that's not bad, try the spelling. You can't even understand what they are saying half the time. _At this point in time, Juudai was clenching his teeth in annoyance, as Sho continued prattling on about how 'sorry' he was, and a bunch of other words that served to annoy the main character even more, as the bluenette shouldn't be talking to him in the first place, as he was downgraded to mere lackey. So, after telling Sho that he needed to lie down, and Sho asking repeatedly if he was alright, causing Juudai to wonder if Sho was in love with him, he finally managed to escape from the nightmare that was a conversation with a person whom seemed obsessed with him.

_That doesn't matter right now! I want to know why people think we are in love with each other!_

_'It's obvious,_ Juudai said dryly, bringing on another healthy dose of sarcasm to his 'other self', _'You want my hot studly body.' _This prompted another glare of death from our favorite villain.

_No. That.... no. I'm not speaking to you again. I hope the fangirls murder you. _

_'Which would techincally kill you too, as you are me.'_

_Maybe, but it would certainly be better then dealing with mpreg and everything that is wrong with people who write it and don't give rational reasoning behind it. _

_'Screw you. And I thought you weren't talking to me.'_

_Hopes are not a form of comminication, besides, I am a King, therefore I can do what I want, and wouldn't that be considered a form of masterbation? _Juudai slammed his head into the wall, trying to remove the mental image once again. Why must he be plauged by a smart-assed 'other self'?

_I heard that! _Suddenly, the sound of movement, and a voice of liquid posion dripped through the subconcious of Juudai.

"Haou..." Juudai had the slightest inkling, that Haou was feeling quite terrifed right now. An amused smile managed to worm its way to his lips at the thought of the great 'King of Darkness' falling victim to the other person who took up residence in Juudai's Mind Hotel. He chuckled at the thought, actually. Haou gave the mental equivalent to the finger to Juudai, and then turned toward the posion voice.

_Oh shit! She's awake!_ And that was the end of Juudai's strange conversation with his 'Yami'.

Five more mpreg stories were added that night, prompting Juudai to jump of a bridge and die. But he didn't, as Yubel and Haou both stopped him. Haou refuses to speak of what happened to him when Yubel woke up.

And Yubel was a happy, happy woman beast thing.

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**1. Please note that being asexual(I know the scienctific defintion as well, so don't bother me about it) means you are not interested in anyone, male or female. I can't believe that no one considers this an option.**

**2. No, I do not know why they were talking to each other. Just like I don't know why mpreg is so popular. It's beyond me. **

**3. Well, Juudai would consider him an asshole, as it was his fault that he had to be trapped in that creepy hall of mirrors in his head.**


End file.
